Eulogy, by John In his letter to the Corinthians, St Paul tells us of the importance of love, and it reminds me of an incident in 1992. In 1992 Joan had a heart by-pass operation. This extended her life by 28 years and enabled her to enjoy a long and well-deserved retirement. In the ward where she was recovering from her operation, there was a Cypriot lady, also recovering from a heart operation, who had had the time to get to know her. "Look after your Mum", she said to me: "She’s so full of love". “So full of love” are the words that should be carved on Mum’s tombstone. For hers was a life devoted to the love and care of others: • To her younger brothers and sisters, Don, Eileen and Ron, where they grew up at 354 Upper Fant Road • To her husband for more than 60 years, Roy, and to us, her sons • To her mother, Elsie, whom she supported during her long and lonely widowhood • To Roy’s parents, Arthur and Lilian, who also needed much help in their old age, Roy’s aunt, Ada, whom she invited to Sunday lunch for over a decade, and many other recipients of her kindness. Joan toiled ceaselessly. She cooked for us, sewed, ironed, cleaned and washed. She gardened, and helped Dad in the orchard. Her part time work as a typist for the Ministry of Agriculture, at the famous East Malling Research Station, must have almost seemed like a break! Only the onset of dementia sapped her energy and eroded her skills. But despite all this hard work, Mum had fun. Being brought up in a big and loving family, she made friends easily. Some of those friends we are glad to see today, though as Joan outlived most of them, most are here only in spirit. Above all, Mum was a great sports woman (hence the wreath has the motif of a tennis racket). For years she played tennis to the highest standard with friends like Derek and Barbara Nash and Joan and Dicky Dearn. Her many trophies attest to her skill. And, when her heart condition made the tennis impossible, she enjoyed first golf and then latterly the more sedate sport of bowls, making yet more friends at the Coxheath Bowls Club. And there were holidays too. In the early years they were spend in beautiful Cornwall with Ron and Sheila, Jonathan and Liz, but in later years she travelled further afield to Europe and America, and on cruises with Joyce and Owen Reeves. In her last decade, the mother who had cared so devotedly for us all, needed our care instead, first at Castle Acre, and then at Warren Lodge Nursing Home. I’d like to pay tribute here to the staff there who looked after her for 5 long years; in particular, Nurse Emily… and to our own Caroline, whose medical knowledge was a vital support. Eventually, Mum lost the power to express herself. In May 2017, for a moment the clouds of dementia parted, and the old Joan shone through. She said: “I love you so much…will you remember me when I’m gone?”, and we hugged and kissed. And then the light faded, and the clouds moved together again. Well, as we meet today, we remember Joan, and we will always remember her; Joan, who always put others before herself, Joan, who was “so full of love”.

Thank you for setting up this memorial to Joan. We hope that you find it a positive experience developing the site and that it becomes a place of comfort and inspiration for you to visit whenever you want or need to.

I am I and you are you, whatever we were to each other that we still are. Speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? Life means all that it ever meant, it is the same as it ever was.